00:00
Tieler Giles
Think what makes sort of, you know, goal setting and growing in grace is really about ultimately recognizing your why, you know, and for those of us who, you know, follow Jesus, like, our why is for the good of other people and for his glory. You know, like, that's the reason we want to grow. Right? And so I think recognizing that sort of also kind of orients you in a way to be like, oh, okay, wait a minute now. If this is for the purpose of supporting other people, loving other people, giving God glory, honoring him, I think you also worry a little bit less about, like, what does it look like, how big it is? Is it gonna work or is it not? You know what I mean? Like, you can really just realize that's the success. Hey.
01:29
Lakeshia Poole
So I'm excited to welcome Tieler. Thank you for coming and chatting with me today.
01:36
Tieler Giles
My pleasure. It's so good to see you.
01:39
Lakeshia Poole
It's good to see you too. Listen, I gotta. Let me see if I can do this on camera. I am actually going to change your title because you are.
02:01
Tieler Giles
I am.
02:04
Lakeshia Poole
Okay, guys, we're gonna spend some time. You're gonna learn a little bit more about Tieler. But Tieler has released this new book called how to Ditch the how to. And she's gonna give us some behind the scenes of this experience. She's going to share her insights and her wisdom with us, especially as we go on our journeys of purpose. And you know, how it is when you come across these issues and these challenges that come up. A lot of times it can be difficult to keep it going. It can be difficult to be able to discern, okay, what is God, what is good and what's me, and what is what the world is trying to. Trying to convince me do. And so I'm excited because I really believe that this book is going to guide some people in their faith journey.
02:50
Lakeshia Poole
And so I did want to start off by asking, tell us a little bit more about your before you officially became an author. Tell us.
03:02
Tieler Giles
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. Well, listen, I, for probably a couple decades, which sounds really crazy to say, am like a communications marketing person by trade. And so that's how Lakeshia and I, our path crossed. But I would say in addition to sort of my communications background, I've always really had an interest in, like, personal growth and, like, growing and achieving my goals. Like, that's always kind of been a little bit of my personality and something that I would say kind of characterizes who I am. But 2018, I feel like 2014 and 2018 are kind of like bookends for me. And the book really kind of takes place in those time periods, those four years and in the. In how to ditch the. How to.
03:56
Tieler Giles
I really talk about having been really disappointed with life, not really looking the way I thought it was going to look, and the goals that I was setting for myself and the things that I thought were supposed to be my life weren't exactly happening, and the way that I thought and look the way that I thought it would look. And so having been a Christian and, you know, attending church and really trying to do my best to follow the Lord, I think was disappointed with God as well, you know, and a little bit disillusioned and so thought, you know what, maybe there are other answers to be found somewhere else. And so I started searching.
04:43
Lakeshia Poole
I. You brought up 2014 in 24. I remember 2014 personally, because I believe we crossed path at a public relations conference and were randomly talking and you were. You were saying, yeah, I think I.
05:01
Tieler Giles
Want to write a book.
05:02
Lakeshia Poole
Like, I want to write a book one day. And I said, girl, write that book. Yes, we need your books. And so I feel like, whereas you did have this long length. Well, you have this lengthy career in communications that has really prepared you in many ways to be a successful carrier of the gospel. Can you talk a little bit about what you learned, about how those skills kind of transferred?
05:31
Tieler Giles
Yeah, well, what's really interesting is, you know, people would always say, you should write a book. You should write a book. You're a writer. You, you know, you write well. And I thought, yeah, I should write a book. I don't think I knew about what, you know, the content exactly, you know, hadn't come to me. But one of the things that I have learned probably in this time period of like, really kind of searching and trying to live my best life and set all my goals and do things my way, and then sort of the Lord bringing me back to the truth. I realized that the gospel message is really what we've been searching for.
06:14
Tieler Giles
And I don't know if I understood it in that way, going to church every Sunday and, you know, living in Atlanta and like I said, doing sort of my best, or at least what I knew to be following the Lord. And so this experience has just motivated me to really put kind of our seeking and searching in the context of the gospel and really, I guess, just breaking down for folks like what the Bible has to say about how we live life well and how Jesus specifically speaks directly to us as it relates to our lives and how we find them.
06:56
Lakeshia Poole
And I think what makes your book special as well is yet I think some people run into sort of a challenge when they treat the Bible like a how to. And so even though we're talking about the context of how we can discover our true selves in the Bible in the context of relationship with God, we're not talking about treating the Bible like a how to manual.
07:27
Tieler Giles
That's right.
07:27
Lakeshia Poole
So we expound a little bit on how people kind of run into some traps in doing that.
07:33
Tieler Giles
Yeah, I'm in this fellowship program currently, and were talking about the story of David and Goliath the other day. And you know, when you hear that story and you read it, you know, you tend to think of yourself as David, right? You tend to think, you know what? I got to be courageous. I got to be strong. I got to slay my giants. I got to do what it takes to, you know, make things happen, right? We look to him and we sort of see he as an example for us in terms of what we must do. There's another way to interpret that story, right, which is to not see ourselves as David, but to see ourselves as Israel, right? That we are people who need help, right? We need a rescuer.
08:21
Tieler Giles
We need someone who is going to stand up and fight on our behalf. And we aren't David. If you look at it in that interpretation, we're Israel and Jesus is David, right? And so when you think of it that way, it's like, yes, we do have giants to slay, if you will. I mean, life is real, right? Like, there is something that we do need to do and have to do, but, like, recognizing that he has already done the big things, right? Like, he has already accomplished so much on our behalf, the big things, the big giants that then allow us to move and operate in a way that allows us to approach life, recognizing that the biggest things have already been accomplished. And what I mean by that is a lot of our goals.
09:11
Tieler Giles
Lakeshia I feel like when you really start to kind of pare them down, whether it's relational, professional, personal, I think at the heart of it is a desire for significance, identity, peace, joy, right? I mean, who sets out to do anything to be miserable, right? Like, I mean, there's sort of these deep spiritual needs that we have that a lot of times will motivate us to, you know, certain activities or goals. But I think the good news is that those things aren't something we have to achieve, right? These are things that we can receive, right? By grace. And I think it can just be an encouragement for those of us who maybe tend to get so focused in on what we must do, what we have to do, and thinking that our life is dependent on what we do and what we achieve.
10:18
Lakeshia Poole
I think that's a good call out because I tend to see, especially I would say, with the millennial generation and even other generations very focused on doing. Yeah, I feel like, and I'm speaking this personally because I am a millennial, I'm reaching an age where now I'm looking at being and becoming. Can you talk more about how do we move from the status do, do, do, and really begin to determine who do we want to become? Who do we want?
10:53
Tieler Giles
That's right. That's right. Yeah. I mean, I think one of the sort of. In the book, I talk about, like, some of the beliefs that we have as it relates to life and how it operates, ourselves, other people and God. And I think we oftentimes, you know, just through the culture and just sort of our surroundings, you know, the world, if you will, have this impression that, like, life will only work out and happen if I make it happen. Right. Like, that's a. That's a belief that a lot of times we care, even as. As Christians. And so I think when we talk about being. I think part of the reason we have a difficult time in that area is because we believe that we have, like, the power and that sort of life revolves around us.
11:49
Tieler Giles
And so I think one of the things that I've just continued to, like, be encouraged by is this idea of, like, what we find in Scripture, which is that, like, you know, God's sovereignty. Right. I mean. I mean, the fact that, like, we are in this life because every breath we breathe, right? I mean, it. It is so dependent on him. And I think one of the things that, you know, when Jesus talks about, you know, come to me, all who are weary and. And heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Well, the reason he's saying it is because there is this temptation to just do a lot of things and really kind of make our life for ourselves.
12:37
Tieler Giles
But he also, you know, says, you know, in the book of Matthew, you know, it's only when we surrender our lives, when we let go of our lives, that we find our lives. Right? And so I think the message there is, you know, in order to, like, situate ourselves in rest, we have to just sort of recognize, like, who's really in control.
13:03
Lakeshia Poole
That's the big one. I hope. I hope that y'all are processing what she's saying, because it really is a battle of control. I actually transparently, I had a moment a couple weeks ago and I was. I was in work in hustle mode, because it's easy to get in hustle mode. And I remember I was talking to God and I said, if I don't do it won't get done right. And so we can get really caught up in believing that it has to be a certain way and it has to come to us a certain way. And I do feel like another trap of the how to market way is, hey, learn this perfect formula and you'll get the results you want.
13:48
Lakeshia Poole
So can you talk about just that contrast between the life of a follower of Jesus, where you're going to find yourself in uncertain circumstances where you may not know what's the next step or the next three to four steps. And so how do you kind of detox from that mentality of, no, I need to know the 10 step plan for becoming a millionaire in 60 days that, you know, that is a part of, I feel like a lot of our mindsets, because that's what the world is really selling us.
14:20
Tieler Giles
Yeah, yeah. It's so true. It's so true. I mean, I think that we often, you know, think, you know, this is an idea that I've gotten, you know, from the spirit and, you know, I feel like, you know, aligns with the word, all of that, so check, check, and then we just like go for it, you know what I mean? Like, we just move, you know, 60 miles per hour because this is what we're. God has called us to do. Right. I think where we want to be careful is just recognizing that, you know, the. There's a process to just about everything that God does. And I think oftentimes I can't speak for everyone, but I rarely get the full picture. Like I have I ever. Right.
15:12
Tieler Giles
And so I think one of the things that we can do is just continue to seek him at every step and at every stage. Right. It's very easy for us to do the thing, create it, birth it, and execute on it, and then sort of expect God or want him to bless it. And so I think, you know, even with this book, Lakeshia, like I was in a position where I said, all right, I know I've been given this book to write, so let me just take the step and first write it, you know, and at every step, I was sort of seeking God and you know, what the next step was? Was it around self publishing? Was it around trying to get it published? How Much investment should I make in it?
15:50
Tieler Giles
Like all of the questions that were coming up for me and just pausing. I think one of the reasons that it's really difficult to like take our time and to pause is because we oftentimes have in our minds like what it's supposed to look like, the timing in which it's supposed to happen. My testimony, and I'm sure you can attest to this as well, is generally speaking, it's not going to work out the way you thought it was going to work out. You know, and that's a good thing. That's a good thing. Right. So how can we tie ourselves to the Lord more than anything versus like the actual project or like the outcome?
16:34
Tieler Giles
Right, Because I've said, you know, with the book and whatever else that, you know, the Lord gives me, like, I think when you sort of situate yourself to say this is his and not mine, I think there's a little bit of like, you know, like I'm gonna trust him with the outcome, I'm gonna trust him with the results. That doesn't mean I don't do my part.
16:59
Lakeshia Poole
Right, right.
17:00
Tieler Giles
You know, like, it doesn't mean that I, you know, wasn't up at 2am, you know, looking at adjectives and that's asaurus, like, no, there's still work to be done. But I thinking about, you know, like, for whom it is, you know, I think like situating yourselves and like this is work that God has given me and therefore it's his. I think it's just really important and then the how, you know what I mean? Like, it isn't necessarily like the best strategy, the best practice, the best person. I mean, that's exhaustion, you know, to think that you have to somehow check off all the boxes and do all of the right things. My experience has been like just following the Spirit and where he leads has really shown me through this process what it looks like to trust God. And I'm learning still.
17:55
Lakeshia Poole
That'S the key. That's the key, right? You're learning to trust God.
17:59
Tieler Giles
You're.
18:00
Lakeshia Poole
That's the faith. That's the journey of faith. I believe that perhaps we have it confused in that faith is supposed to be like this magic thing that, oh, now I have faith. No, like that's your day to day living, your day to day decisions. The way in which you approach life and the fact that you invite the Holy Spirit in, you invite God in, and you invite Jesus into every stage of your journey. I think that's if there was a formula, that would be the one formula I would co sign on like, yes, invite God invite Holy Spirit. Because there's so much we don't know as far as what God has in store for not just us, but for his kingdom.
18:46
Tieler Giles
That's right.
18:47
Lakeshia Poole
So I do feel like books like these help us to dream a little bit bigger. Not from the standpoint of oh, I want to have more significance, but oh, how does this impact the kingdom of God?
19:00
Tieler Giles
I love that part. And one of the things that I was thinking about, I had someone ask me the other day, like, so is self help bad or what about personal growth? And, and the answer is self help add no, what about personal growth? Growth is God's idea. Like that's not anything that is opposite of what he has in mind. He wants to partner with us. And so I think something to keep in mind in terms of is like, you know, what does it mean? Like how are we measuring our growth, right? Is it in like followers, is it in like promotions, Is it in like, you know, this relationship or this growing my family or whatever those good things are? These are not bad things, these are good things.
19:46
Tieler Giles
Or are we measuring our growth based on like, do I look more like Jesus? You know, like loving more like him, living more like him. Right. And then I think the why it's so easy to sort of get so wrapped up and caught up in like our goals because they're very self centered. Right. And Right. I mean it is. And so I think what makes sort of, you know, goal setting and growing in grace is really about ultimately recognizing your why, you know, and for those of us who, you know, follow Jesus, like our why is for the good of other people and for his glory. You know, like that's the reason we want to grow. Right?
20:36
Tieler Giles
And so I think recognizing that sort of also kind of orient you in a way to be like, oh, okay, wait a minute now, if this is for the purpose of supporting other people, loving other people, giving God glory, honoring Him, I think you also worry a little bit less about like what does it look like, how big it is it gonna work or is it not? You know what I mean? Like you can really just realize that's the success part.
21:08
Lakeshia Poole
Right?
21:08
Tieler Giles
I mean that's ultimately what he says or sees as successful. And so I think if we can like kind of pattern our hearts off of that, and I'm speaking for myself, the work becomes lighter because we don't have this pressure that it has to look a certain way and quote, unquote, work out.
21:32
Lakeshia Poole
Because I think when we have God on the journey with us, it also, you get to be in his presence. And that alone is a level of reward that I don't think we talk about nearly enough. And that's a reward for now. Like, you don't have to wait for heaven. You can, you can experience that oneness now. And I don't know about you. So tell me a little bit about your writing process.
22:02
Tieler Giles
Yeah.
22:04
Lakeshia Poole
I'm biased, I know, because I'm a writer, but I feel like sometimes that is the closest I've ever felt to God in a way, because. Or maybe God as creator, because you start with nothing and it's not coming from me. And I'm like, well, where is it coming from? And just again, when you talk about giving up your whole life, like there are, there were times when I didn't go to bed until 4:00 in the morning and I would wake up at 6 o'clock excited and ready to go and I'm like, wait a minute, where is this energy coming from? Like, so talk to me about perhaps just an experience of co creating God.
22:41
Tieler Giles
Oh my goodness. All the things, all the things I'm gonna tell you. The, the book took about three years to write. After I connected with the Good Book Company, my publisher, it was about a year and a half, but that's a three year process. And I learned so much about how God works and who I am in him. And so I'll give you two examples. One, I remember recognizing I got these dates, I got these deadlines, and I got to get it done. And so I would be very much focused on word count and just very regimental in the fact that this is the way that you write a book and this is the process to get to where you need to go. And I would just sit and stare at that screen. I mean, nothing. Like I'm like, what am I even doing?
23:41
Tieler Giles
Like, no words, no insight, no inspiration, nothing. And you know, an hour would go by, an hour and a half would go by, and I would just sort of like, kind of close my laptop and be like, what we gonna do, Lord? The missing factor was the Holy Spirit. You know, I was so focused on writing and my schedule that I didn't really have devotional time. You know, I wasn't really having a lot of time in worship. So what was happening was like I really was just kind of pulling from a very, very small sort of tank of energy and ideas and inspiration. Right when I made God priority. And that sounds silly. How do you not make God priority? Writing a book about Jesus very easily.
24:34
Lakeshia Poole
People do ministry without God all the time.
24:38
Tieler Giles
Yeah, yeah. But when I. When I centered the relationship first, there was just flow, which is what you're talking about. Right. And you know what I also found so interesting? And you know, we read in Scripture about the word of God, and so we know it sort of intellectually. But when I would start with scripture, like when I would sort of be moved to a particular topic, maybe the topic was around joy. And so, you know, I'd start, you know, the scripture, you know, in your presence, there was fullness of joy. And then I would just sort of sit there and I'd be like. And it would just flow right from the truth. Right. Given to us by the Lord. And so I think the process of writing and creating and co creating with God has been so beautiful.
25:32
Tieler Giles
I think I've learned so many lessons that I. I try to incorporate, like, in just life in general. And that really being like. And you know, we hear it all the time. You know, dedicate and devote the first, you know, first few hours of your day to the Lord. No, for real.
25:50
Lakeshia Poole
Like, it kind of makes a difference, a huge difference.
25:54
Tieler Giles
You know, just like centering him and really what's most important. So. Yeah.
26:00
Lakeshia Poole
Because it feeds the rest of your day.
26:03
Tieler Giles
That's right.
26:04
Lakeshia Poole
And when you start with that solid foundation. And I know there's some people. I know y'all are already saying it. I'm not a morning person. I wasn't a morning person. Like, I actually started waking up early because this was when I was raising my nephew. The house would get loud when he would wake up to get ready to go to school. And so I'm like, okay, I need to wake up a couple hours before he does, so I can. So I can be ready. But I maintain that habit because I really like just starting my day with worship with the word quiet time. I mean, I mix it up. I don't do the same thing every day, but I think it's really, really important. So for anybody who, you know, they're already thinking about how they need to start the new year off. Right?
26:51
Tieler Giles
Yes.
26:54
Lakeshia Poole
Based on some of the principles in your book, how would you encourage them to consider starting the new year?
27:02
Tieler Giles
Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good question. So, yes, the new year is just right with temptation to make the resolutions and to set the goals and to claim it. You know, this is going to be my year where I, X, Y and Z and if the Lord has told you that, by all means, believe him for it. But, you know, I would say coming out of the book, early in the, in part one of the book, I talk a little bit about sort of how change happens from the standpoint of growth and getting to sort of the heart of the matter, which is like everything that we're looking to do, goal wise, the behavior change, the better habits, the mindset, all of those things that are important really, ultimately at the end of the day, have their root in the heart, you know.
28:10
Tieler Giles
And so I think what I would do is just encourage folks to. Before you kind of set the goal or figure out, like, I don't know what it's going to take to do X, Y and Z, really kind of sitting with the heart. And what I mean by that is sort of searching your heart and praying, you know, for God to search your heart and reveal where are you, you know, like, what is your intention and motivation for doing the thing? I think so often it's to be valued or to be significant or to be loved or to be enough. Like these things that are spiritual needs that we try to satisfy with that doing, you know, which is what we talked about.
29:03
Tieler Giles
And so I think I would just encourage you to, you know, just really get honest with yourself and God about just the heart of the matter. Like, what is it that I'm ultimately seeking and searching for? Then recognize that sort of internal inward need and desire can be satisfied through grace, right through just what we receive in relationship with God. And I think once that happens, losing the weight or, you know, improving the relationship or putting yourself out there or starting the business or getting the promotion or leaving your job or whatever. The thing is that work still does have to happen, but the, the innermost desire and need is satisfied in him and through him. Right. So I would just say, like, slow down a little bit, you know, like, listen, I put it like this.
30:07
Tieler Giles
If, if it was just that easy, we would have done it already. You know what I mean? It's so easy to kind of be like, all right, I'm gonna just try harder this time. You know, that's going to be the secret to it. I'm just going to stick to it this time. I'm just going to be more consistent. Nine times out of 10, it's a little bit deeper than that. So, yeah, so my encouragement would be to, yeah, just really find yourself. At least. What I'm going to be doing is slowing down, just having an open heart and being Receptive to what God may be doing in the season that I'm in and going with that. One thing else I wanted to say.
30:48
Tieler Giles
I know we're coming up on time, but one of the most valuable lessons that I've learned sort of in my journey of seeking and searching is that, you know, we hold so tightly to what we believe to be our life and what we want and what we believe is supposed to be. And I just think that the Lord is, you know, sort of saying like, find rest and just letting that go. Not to say that it won't ever happen. Right. But just surrendering it in order to just really take hold of the life that he has planned for you. He created you. He knows you. He's got good things planned for you. Not to say that, you know, your goals and your dreams and what you want aren't rooted in, you know, your faith or in your belief in God.
31:46
Tieler Giles
But I think allowing him to bring those things in, the timing that he is bringing them in is important. And again, I'm talking to myself.
32:00
Lakeshia Poole
I think you're talking to all of us. There are three things that popped up out of what you just shared. Number one, when you find yourself in the supposed to, like, or I'm supposed to be there, like, even when you hear yourself say supposed to, that should be a trigger to stop, pause, reflect. Like, am I putting an expectation on myself or God that is perhaps not rooted correctly?
32:32
Tieler Giles
Yeah, yeah.
32:33
Lakeshia Poole
Saying that you're wrong. But just if you find yourself throughout the year, like, oh, I'm supposed to be here by now or wherever. Why, why do you feel like you're supposed to be there already? Like, what, what is causing you to feel like you're supposed to be somewhere? The second thing that you brought up was this idea of will. And I feel like it connects to something you said earlier about grace. Grace is more powerful than will. Yeah, I know. Self help in the world is trying to convince you that you can just will your way forward. But trust us, grace is more effective and it is more powerful than will. The third thing, oh man, it popped out of my head. It was related to what you were saying towards the end.
33:24
Tieler Giles
Just the heart or.
33:26
Lakeshia Poole
Oh, everything is spiritual. A lot of the goals that people have, for instance, if it is like health related or relationships or whatever, writing a book is spiritual. Whether you write a faith based book or not, you are going to go on a spiritual journey. That's right, get married. You're gonna go on a spiritual journey. Like all of these things and all these aspects of life. It is an opportunity for us to be refined, for us to be purified, for us to look a little bit more like Jesus. And so God uses all these experiences. And so if you take Tieler's encouragement and just go ahead and start there, it makes the journey so much better.
34:14
Tieler Giles
Amen. Much better.
34:15
Lakeshia Poole
Well, thank you so much for sharing with me, with my people, because we. We love encouragement and. And just real life experiences of God and purpose. And so I feel like you've shared your heart with us. Is there anything we didn't talk about that you're just like, okay, I got to make sure they know this. Is there anything you got to share?
34:36
Tieler Giles
I don't. I don't think so. I would just say I just want to just take a minute to just, like, honor you. And I want you to know that you are such a light. I think my journey to this place could not have been what it is. Like God put you in my life for. For that time period, and we will continue. But, yeah, I love what you're doing. I just. I'm inspired by it. And, yeah, so thank you.
35:06
Lakeshia Poole
I'm smiling, y'all, because I remember when I first met Tieler in that PR class, it was like 100 people at the University of Georgia, and that's. That was over 20. Wait, what? That was a few years ago, and we still look good.
35:27
Tieler Giles
There's just a couple years ago.
35:30
Lakeshia Poole
Well, I'm going to make sure I put all of the information for Tieler's book and how you can reach her and how you can contact her so that you have that, because I want you to continue to follow her and her journey. And if you have any opportunities to see her speak or anything like that, please take advantage of it, because I know you'll be blessed. And so, again, thank you so much, Tieler, for joining me today.
35:52
Tieler Giles
Thank you so much, Lakeshia. Bye.
